


Can I Say I Hate You?

by CydSA



Series: The Adam Lambert & Kris Allen Comedy Collection [2]
Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Future Fic, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-22
Updated: 2010-05-22
Packaged: 2017-10-09 15:53:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/89095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The big date. Adam has nothing to wear, armies are needed and there is a praying mantis in the mix too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can I Say I Hate You?

The guiltiness that started  
Soon as the other part had stopped  
D is for Delightful  
And try and keep your trousers on  
I think you should know you're his favourite worst nightmare  
D is for...

Desperately trying to stimulate what it was that was alright  
3 quarters of an hour ago  
That had led him to be in a position  
And every compromission  
On the brink of an episode  
He's nearing the brink but he thinks first  
The parallel universe perhaps could be the perfect scene

 

 

I am not a brave man. I say this with sincerity and truth. Okay, maybe not a lot of sincerity. Meh. I was a coward, plain and simple and the thought of going on a date with Kris sent me into a flat panic. I had less than three hours to transform myself into something worthy of appearing in public with him. And I looked like a cat dragged through a hedge backwards at the moment. Three days at the seaside had wreaked havoc on my skin. I really needed a full facial and skin peel but time was of the essence, so I would have to make do with what I had. I needed to rally the troops.

 

Two hours and fifty minutes

 

I called Allison.

"Baby girl."

"Addaaammm! You're back!"

"Yeah. I need help, please."

"From me?"

"Did I stutter?"

"For someone who wants help from me, you're being a bit of a pill."

"Sorry, Alli-cat. I have a date."

"Woo-hoo! With Kris?"

"Yeah. And I have nothing to wear."

"You have about four billion items of clothing in your closet."

"But nothing right for a date with Kris."

"Don't you have a cowboy shirt? With checks?"

"Don't make me smack you."

"I'm sooooo skerd. What do you need me to do?"

"Call Cassidy, ask him for something fabulous for me and get your ass over here ASAP."

"Aye-aye Captain, I'll push as hard as I can."

"Don't do the Scottish accent, sweetie. It's all kinds of wrong."

"Ungrateful much?"

"See you in a bit?"

"You're so lucky I love you."

"Back at you baby."

 

Next to be roped in was Brad.

"Cheeks here, articulate."

"You sound pretentious."

"And you sound like an asshole."

"Pot meet kettle."

"Did you call me to irritate me? Cos I have to tell you…working!"

"I need help."

"..."

"Brad?"

"You need help from moi?"

"Why is everyone so surprised?"

"Everyone? Who else did you enlist?"

"So far, only Allison. She's getting Cassidy to find me something spectacular."

"Ooh, big date, big boy?"

"Kinda. Yeah."

"And no rising to the bait tells me it's your non-straight straight on the menu."

"He might not be so straight after all."

"Really? Colour me flabbergasted."

"What the fuck does that even mean? How can I colour…Forget it. Just get over here. I need help and I only have…two hours and forty minutes."

"Good god, woman, that will never be enough time!"

"I know, so get your ass in gear!"

"On my way, Cheeks to the rescue!"

"Send Brad please, at least he's almost sane and won't go out half-naked in public."

"You take what you get, angelcakes. See you in a jiffy."

 

I called my mother to let her know I was back in LA.

"Hey Mama."

"Honey, are you home safely?"

"Yeah, there was a small tremor up at Big Sur so I headed back."

"Did Kristopher find you?"

"Yes and you are an evil woman."

"Just helping my baby boy to get his head out of his ass."

"Mama!"

"What? I really wasn't going to sit through months of Spanish soap opera style dramatics while you moped all over the place."

"Mama!"

"Seriously, Adam. I couldn't take one more moment of the melodrama."

"You're not very nice sometimes, you know that right?"

"Well, if you were less of an idiot when it came to Kris then I wouldn't have to interfere."

"Can I say that I hate you?"

"No. I am your mother. Now, say 'thank you, Mama' and let me get back to my scrap-booking."

"..."

"What? There's nothing wrong with it. I am busy doing your and Neil's baby pages."

"You really need to go on a date, Mama. When I'm less freaked out about my own life, I'm gonna set you up."

"Thank you, but no. Me and the scrap-booking are quite happy together. Goodbye darling."

 

I had to let Neil know about this.

"Psychoboy."

"Ziggy Stardust"

"Mama is scrap-booking."

"What the actual fuck?"

"I know, right? We need to set her up on a date with someone."

"Any thoughts, brainstrust?"

"Not at the moment. I am just having a mild heart attack."

"Because our mother is scrap-booking?"

"No dickhead, because I am going out with Kris tonight."

"On a real date?"

"Yeah, as opposed to a fictional one."

"With you, it always pays to make certain. This is perfect. I am gonna call TMZ and tell them to follow you."

"I swear to god if you doing anything like that I will actually arrange for a hitman to assassinate you."

"Ooh, shivering in my boots."

"You should. This is serious with Kris."

"Again, with the 'oh, I'm so surprised'. The rest of the universe figured that out about two years ago, you moron."

"Shut the fuck up. I like to take things slow."

"If you went any slower you'd be dead, Liza."

"I hate you."

"Feeling meet mutual."

"Think about someone we can send Mama on a date with."

"Yeah, cos the freaks you know in Hollywierd is why she is scrap-booking right now."

"Fuck you."

"Thanks, but no. It's not my style. Although it might be your boyfriend's. Let me know."

"Really, really hate you."

"I think I might have to let 'a source' on the fan sites spill this news. I will rock the boards."

"Mama must have dropped you on your head. A lot."

 

Of course, I had to let Katy know what was happening.

"Adam."

"Hey Kit Kat."

"Kris found you then?"

"Yeah. Um, about that?"

"He's already called me, Adam. He says you're going out on a date tonight?"

"That's why I called you. He's so…"

"Thoughtful? Sweet? Considerate?"

"He should have let me tell you."

"Why? I'm his ex-wife, it was only good manners on his part. And stop sulking, I can practically see your lip on the floor from this side of the phone."

"How come I never knew how mean you really are?"

"I'm like a praying mantis. I suck you in, fuck you up and bite your head off."

"Okay, I am officially scared of you now."

"Good. That means you won't be so quick to break Kris' heart."

"What about mine?"

"Don't whine. It's very unattractive and the wind will change and your face will stay like that."

"I don't think I like you any more."

"As long as you look after Kris, there is no need to fear."

"I swear. He's pretty much perfect, you know."

"I know, Adam. Trust me, I know."

"Oh, sorry. I am an asshole."

"Yeah."

 

One hour and fifty minutes

 

By the time Brad arrived, I had showered, shaved, washed my hair and was debating the wisdom of a home waxing session.

"Step away from the wax, lover!" Brad screeched and I obeyed. It probably wasn't smart to do it anyway, knowing my luck I would have an allergic reaction and end up scratching all night. Attractive.

"I am never going to be ready." Yep, definite whine in the voice. This was all going swimmingly. Brad took charge. He had arrived with about two tons of make up and accessories and declared that all of it would be needed to make me even remotely presentable. I felt cuddled and safe and warm. I was born to be pampered.

 

One hour and thirty minutes

 

When Allison came into the room about twenty minutes later I was sitting in the middle of my room, silver foils in my hair, cucumbers on my eyes and avocado and yogurt on my face. She swiped a finger across my cheek and stuck it in her mouth.

"Yum. You give a whole new meaning to 'looks good enough to eat', big bro." When I moved to take the cucumbers away, Brad shrieked from the bathroom,

"Touch the salad and die, freak!" I didn't deign to respond but sat back and asked,

"Did Cassidy come through for me, Alii-cat?" Of course, it's always all about the outfit. I heard the rustle of packets and she yelled at Brad to come and look. It was extremely frustrating to hear the oohs and ahs and not be able to see what the hell was being ooh'd and ah'd about. I could feel my jawline tensing in irritation.

"Stop with the macho antics, sweetheart. It gives you wrinkles." Brad's admonition forced me to relax and I was quite proud of the calm tone of voice as I asked,

"What did Cassidy send me?"

Allison's voice measured about five on the Richter Scale as she announced each item. "He gave you a little pair of pants."

"You might need a crowbar to get into them. Either he got your size wrong or you've gained a few pounds." The snarky tone in Brad's voice didn't annoy me. It meant he was jealous of my new duds.

"Shut up, Bradley." Allison, my hero. "Okay, then he sent you a chain mail shirt, but it's like a soft metal." She sounded a little doubtful about it. I was thrilled.

Brad stated, "It will make you look like Lancelot, or King Arthur, only not so pure. This was made for impure thoughts." Better and better.

Alli disagreed, "Both dead. Not good." I started laughing. Good friends are very hard to come by in this vapid town and I had two of the best right here with me.

"What else, baby?" Cassidy would never just send a top and bottom for me. See where I went there? He knew that if I was wearing his clothes, I would be seen and then so would he. Allison's squealing practically shattered my eardrums.

"Oh fuck! Oh wow! Oh seriously fuckwowfanfuckingtastic!"

"What? What?" I was still wearing my salad so was unable to see what the excitement was about. I heard Brad's sharp intake of breath and then the reverential sigh as he released it.

"Adam, I swear you are the luckiest bitch on the planet. Either that or Cass has the biggest hard-on for you in the universe."

I prided myself on the thought that it was a little of both. "I am removing the cucumbers now, Brad. I think my eyes are as done as they ever will be." And I wanted to see my newest present from Skin Graft. So I shucked the coins of cucumber and took a gander at my clothes. The pants were going to be a tight fit. Perfect. The shirt was a now-you-see-nipple-now-you-don't concoction that made me grin. But the jacket… in Alli's word fuckwowfanfuckingtastic. It was a charcoal grey leather mid-thigh trench with silver trims on the lapels and pockets. It was simple, elegant, under-stated and screamed 'look the fuck at me because I am fabulous'. I think I was going to give Cassidy my first-born child or maybe a puppy. I wanted to touch but was smacked away by both my accomplices.

"Keep your paws off the merchandise, Lambert, you're covered in food." Brad then dragged me to the bathroom, shoved my head under the shower and ruthlessly rinsed me off, ignored my yelps of 'Cold! Fuck! Hot! Fuck!' What had I been thinking, asking my ex for help?

One hour and fifteen minutes

 

They wouldn't let me look in a mirror. Which was really spiteful and petty and totally Brad because I had no idea what he had done to my hair. I was desperate to see but Allison had covered every reflective surface in my room with cloth, except the ones over the bed and I was craning my neck trying to get a look at myself. What? Mirrors over the bed, too much?

 

Then Kris called.

"Hey, Adam."

"Hey yourself. I really am going to have to teach you some cute names to call me."

"Whatever. Are you ready?"

"Are you out of your mind? You only gave me three hours!"

"…"

"That's like five minutes in Kris-time!"

"You know you're crazy, right?"

"You love me like this."

"Hmm, might have to do a re-think."

"You are stuck with me, Kristopher."

"Yeah, I kinda think I am."

"That's a good thing, right?"

"God, Adam, you moron. I love you so much, honestly, I don't understand how you can even ask."

"That's all I wanted to know."

"You're a little disturbing, babe."

"I like babe. Back the fuck off, Brad, I'm talking to my sweetie."

"Brad's there?"

"No need to be jealous, baby, he's helping me get ready."

"Are you naked with him?"

"…"

"Are you?"

"I like this side of you. All manly and tough."

"Adam!"

"No, I am not naked with him. And anyway, Allison's here too."

"Oh. Good. That's good. God, you make me nuts."

"Gotta go, love, I have to make myself perfect for you."

"You already are."

"Can I just say that I love, adore and worship you?"

"You just did."

 

I was grinning like a fool and so was Allison. "You guys…you're so…I mean…I don't even know...." And she started crying, huge tear drops pouring down her cheeks like diamond rain.

Brad handed her a Kleenex. "They're really kind of adorable, aren't they?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, we really kind've are." I smiled at them, all of us a little sniffly. "No, fuck, no! I am not crying! My eyes!" The room was suddenly a whirlwind of activity. Getting into those pants? Harder than I anticipated. Let's just say it involved sweet-smelling oil and leave it at that, shall we? The results though were nothing short of spectacular. The shirt was a triumph of modern technology. It fit me like a glove and seemed to caress my skin. It looked like a metallic t-shirt but was made of something that felt like silk and steel. It was gorgeous. I decided to play it smart and wear my old favourites, my python boots. I wasn't looking to have sore feet at the end of the evening. Other parts maybe, but not my feet! And the jacket. Oh, dear Lord, that jacket cuddled me like I was its best friend. Cass had totally outdone himself and I sent out a tweet telling everyone how unbelievably awesome he was. Both Alli and Brad stood back, smiling proudly.

"You look so hot." Allison was grinning so widely I thought her face might split. "Kris is going to shit himself." I had stopped trying to censor Allison a long time ago so I just grinned back at her.

Brad sniffed, "You'll do in a pinch. Now sit your ass down and let me finish hair and make-up."

 

Ten minutes

 

"Done." I had been sitting patiently while Brad went to work, this theatre bitch knew how to wait on make-up and hair. Allison had been driving us both crazy so she had been sent to get alcohol. When she walked back in, she just stopped and stared.

"Oooh." The tray with the champagne bottle and glasses wobbled a bit and Brad went to rescue it.

"Good oooh? Bad oooh?" I was nervous and waited for the verdict.

Alli was still staring at me, "Adam. God. I mean. You are so pretty. Seriously. So fuckin' pretty. I wish I was a guy."

Brad giggled and popped the cork. "Best compliment ever!" He poured three glasses, only filling Alli's up half-way, responsible for a change. "He is magnificent, isn't he? Some of my best work I think." He handed me a glass and then waved at the mirror, "Take a look at yourself, big boy." Allison yanked the cover in front of the mirror away and I took my first look at what had been wrought. Now, honestly, I do know that I am nice looking. I can't fake humility very well. There's a reason some of my fans call me a glittery alien from planet fierce. But Brad had taken me and moulded me into something different, someone new. He'd taken slivers of my hair and bleached them platinum white, almost the same colour as the material of my shirt, tipped them with black, and then smudged charcoal liner on my eyes, enhancing the corners with a dab of silver that you only could see if you turned your head a certain way in the light. My mouth was glossy and my lips seemed fuller than normal. I looked…yeah, magnificent was definitely the word.

I turned to Brad, "You are a prince among men, a god of the make-up brush and hair product."

Brad tipped his glass at me, "I so am, lover." We clinked glasses and then the front doorbell chimed. "He's right on time, sweetcheeks. Your straight is keen."

I grinned happily at my friends, "Indeed he is and so am I."

Allison ran to open the door, shouting back over her shoulder, "Stay there, Adam, I want to see Kris' reaction when he gets a look at you!" She flung the door open and hurled herself into Kris' arms, "Kriiiissss!" He grunted as he caught her and then hugged her, hard.

"Alli-cat. It's so great to see you." They stood smiling at each other and then she tugged him inside.

"Wait till you see Adam. You are going to pass out he's so gorgeous." I stepped out of the room and waited for him to see me. My guy stared at me as though I was the Holy Grail, Elvis Presley and a Chik-fill-a sandwich all in one.

"Adam." My name was a breath from his mouth and he came towards me like a sleep-walker. When he got to me, he stood there, just looking, silent.

"Hi." That was my voice, small, unsure, needy. He reduced me to rubble, every single time.

"Adam." My name again, rough, shaky, heated. I could feel my skin crawling towards him, dragging the rest of me after it. We moved at the same time, into a space that belonged to only us. Arms and hands found places reserved exclusively for them on each other's bodies.

"You like?" I had to ask. His eyes were liquid chocolate and deep within a hot fire burned.

"Yeah." One word. Just one word after hours of frantic scrambling to find the perfect outfit, have the perfect hair, wear the perfect make up. One word and it was all worth it. Oh, and the fact that I could feel a certain part of his anatomy that was very happy to see me also told me that we done good.

Brad chose that moment to walk out of the bedroom, "I expect details, bitch. I deserve them." He twinkled at Kris who snarled a little. My boyfriend was so the jealous type, who knew?

"Brad." He was also the well-brought up, good mannered type too.

"Kris." My ex was taunting him and I needed to get us out of there before blood was spilled.

"Brad, Alli, you saved my life and my sanity. Thank you so much, I love the two of you more than words can say." I grabbed Kris' hand and started tugging him to the door, "If you will just lock up when you leave?" When the nineteen year old girl is more mature than your ex-boyfriend…

Allison waved us off, "Don't worry, I'll help Brad clear up and we'll let ourselves out. Have fun you two!"

Brad had to get the last word in, "And don't do anything I wouldn't do. With Adam. Kris." I pushed Kris out in front of me, he was straining to turn around, growling under his breath.

"Ignore him, baby. Please. You should know him by now. Don't give him the satisfaction." I turned my head and gave Brad my patented death-ray glare and he waved merrily back at me. The glare hadn't worked for years.

 

The Date

 

"So, where are we going?" I was trying to be casual. Kris had rented a limo and we were sitting together on the backseat, prim and proper like my great-aunt Mabel. The non-existent one.

Kris was busying himself with opening the courtesy champagne bottle and looked over at me, "I got us reservations at The Palm."

I grinned, "You are such a carnivore." He smiled back at me, eyes hot.

"Don't know if I told you, but you look incredible." The inside of my mouth went dry and the butterflies in my stomach started flying in figure eight formations.

"No. You didn't. You just sort of stared and said my name." Colour me vain, but I wanted my man to think I looked amazing.

"Yeah, well, my brain kind've melted when I saw you. I think I forgot how to speak for a bit."

My mouth stretched in a delighted beam, "I think that's about the loveliest thing I have ever heard."

"You are such a peacock." His fond smile took the sting out of the words and my lower lip jutted out.

"Is it so wrong of me to want my very new boyfriend to tell me that he thinks I'm pretty?" He put the bottle down and turned to me, face serious.

"I kissed you in your kitchen three days ago, told you that I was in love with you, asked you out on a date, which you refused, chased you up the coast to Big Sur, endured an earthquake…" I opened my mouth to remind him that the little baby tremor didn't qualify as an earthquake but that fucking hand was up again, stopping me from speaking. I was going to bite his fingers off if he did it one more time, "…waited for three hours before I could see you again today and then you want to know if I think you're pretty?"

Put like that, I really was a little ridiculous. "I'm insecure. Sue me. You were married three days ago…and straight. It's still taking me a little getting used to, is all." I looked down at my hands, Allison's paint job was perfect, and whined, "I feel like I'm going to wake up any second and it's all going to be a dream and God is fucking with me again."

I felt him move closer, his fingers curled around mine. I could feel the calluses from his guitar, "Adam." His voice was low, intimate, husky and I looked up at him under my eyelashes (real, not fake. Wasn't going to let Brad go that far. This was real life not theatre). "I think in poetry when I look at you." Well, crap. What was I supposed to say to that? So I leaned forward and kissed him. Kissing was always the answer to everything with Kris.

 

Kris Allen loves me. That's what I wanted to shout at the people in the restaurant as we were being guided to our table. Sometime in that drive to The Palm, it had finally sunk in. Maybe it was his words or maybe it was his actions. Actually, I think it was his tongue in my mouth and the motion of his hips as he tried to climb inside me that finally convinced me. Kris Allen loved me. He held my hand as we walked inside, ignoring the paparazzi shouting at us from the door. His head was held high and there was the faintest smug little grin on his face.

"What are you smiling at?" I hissed at him. He looked up at me, when had I turned into a girl that the sight of bright brown eyes and a smiling mouth reduced me to blubber?

"I am so proud to be out here. With you." I wasn't going to be able to eat a thing. Honestly. What this man did to me should be declared illegal. I raised our joined hands and rubbed my mouth over his knuckles. I wasn't sure how much PDA he was prepared for, so kept it minimal. Kris hadn't got that memo though and right there, in front of the entire world, he reached up and pressed his mouth to mine in the sweetest kiss I have ever experienced. Birds sang, rainbows formed and women around the world spontaneously fell pregnant.

I sighed into his mouth and pulled away reluctantly, "We're going to be on the front page of every tabloid in creation. You know that, right?" I wanted him to know what life in the fishbowl was going to be like.

He chuckled, "I've spend the last year living a lie, the year before that I was in love with two people and extremely confused. To say that I am happy where I am right now, is an understatement." Those soft eyes met mine, "I'm not going anywhere, Adam. I love you. I told you, I'm like human super glue. You're stuck with me." I had warned him, I had tried. To be honest though, I really wasn't going to let him go. Not now, not ever. We had enjoyed the appetizer. I was ready for the main course.

 

I don't know what we ate. It was cow. That's about all I remember. Kris tucked into it with relish, me, not so much. I was working at being a vegetarian. It made me feel sanctimonious. We talked though. About everything, our music, the new albums we were busy laying down, the life in LA, what our Idol friends were up to. It amazed me that we had each stayed in contact with different people so we could catch one another up. Only Allison was still our mutual friend. Michael, Danny, Anoop and Scott were in touch with Kris and were all in one form or another still in the business. Matt, Megan and Lil were my friends and only Matt was in LA busy writing songs with Jamie Cullum of all people. It felt like a million years ago that we were all on tour, squashed on a bus rushing from town to town.

"Have you ever sung 'Whole Lotta Love' again?" Kris asked me over dessert.

I grimaced, "I think everyone is too scared to ask me. Every time I do a show or an appearance, I wait for someone to request it so that I can actually shout, 'hell to the no!'"

Kris laughed and nodded, "Yeah, me too, with 'Heartless' and as for 'Ain't No Sunshine'…"

I look at him slyly, "Do you know what the fans used to call it?" Yes, I am evil, never claimed any depth of character, and he shook his head.

"No, what?"

The angel and devil perched on each of my shoulders battled briefly, as usual, the devil won, "They called it 'Anal Sunshine'." I watched the colour flush his cheeks and he put his head in his hands. "Why? You are the worst human being in the world you know? Why would you tell me that?"

I was cackling a little, I am ashamed to say. "I am going to tell you something now and if you ever repeat it, I swear I will deny it with my last breath." I looked at him and he nodded, "I've read some of the stories they've written about us over the years."

He appeared confused, "So have I, what's so secret about that?"

Kristopher, Kristopher, my innocent little country pumpkin, "I mean the fan fiction. Fiction written by fans, about us."

His eyes went wide, "Seriously? They write stories about us?"

If only he knew, "Indeed they do. I've learnt things from them as well. Do you remember all the questions and tweets about zombies when we were doing the show in Glendale?" He nodded. "Well, that was because of particularly tasty tale called, 'House of the Living'. It was based in Arizona, the area was wiped out by a zombie plague and I was kick-ass with a gun."

Kris started laughing, "You with a gun? You'd probably pass out if you were given a gun."

I glared at him, "I would totally rock as a zombie killer." He was still laughing and I kicked him under the table.

"So what other stories are out there?" He seemed genuinely curious so I made it my mission to make him blush by describing some of the hot, completely improbable situations our fans had written our characters into. "That's not even possible! How can you..?" Yeah, making Kris blush was fun, then he asked, "How did you even find out about this fan fiction stuff?"

I waved a spoonful of ice cream and chocolate sauce around, "Oh, Neil told me about it. He lurks on the fan boards a lot."

Kris looked slightly appalled. "You mean your brother reads gay porn about his brother and best friend?" Put like that it made me squick a little and the ice cream lost its flavour.

"Ew, that's just wrong on so many levels, ew. Thank you for pointing that out to me, Kristopher. I feel like I need to wash my brain out with soap." We were both a little nauseous now.

 

We squabbled a bit about the bill. Kris won eventually because as he said, he'd asked me out, and then left the warm comfort of the restaurant. We walked into a shit storm of paparazzi who were all yelling questions at us. Kris just grabbed my hand, put his head down and ploughed through them like a bull. I had always been the leader in relationships before, but then again, so had Kris. This was going to be interesting. We piled into the limo and lay back against the seats, hands entwined and just grinning at each other.

"We're going to be like the Brangelina of the gay world." I told him.

He smiled, lifted our hands to his mouth and pressed a damp kiss on my knuckles, "We are Kradam." I was such a goner for this man.

"We are Kradam." I whispered it back to him and we snuggled down together.

"Wanna make out in the back seat of a car?" Kris' voice was rough and a little dirty and it sent a 'hello, are you awake?' message to the lower half of my body. Yes, indeedy, I was awake.

"That's so like, juvenile and senior prom, dude." I used my best southern California babe accent and the next moment I was flat on my back, being mauled by an enthusiastic Kris. It was lovely.

 

When we got back to my place, I had a rare moment of uncertainty, but Kris just climbed out behind me, waved the limo off and took my hand again.

"Is it okay if I stay over tonight?" He sounded as scared as me so I felt a little better. I leaned into him and kissed him, mouth open, tongue spearing deep. We stood there in the moonlight, gasping and pulling and it felt like Kris had grown about four extra arms, not that I was complaining. I opened the door to my house and we stumbled in, mouths glued together. He was whining a little and pushing at my jacket. Even in my almost delirious state, I was protective of my new baby and shrugged myself out of it, hanging it in the closet by the door. Kris pressed up against me from behind and I could feel the definition of every muscle. Our shirts hit the floor next and we both sighed at the first full skin on skin contact. His fingers traced the path of my freckles across my shoulders, down my chest and then he hooked into my belt and pulled me closer.

"Remember when I asked you how we would fit?" His eyes were bright, his mouth red, swollen, abused. The sexiest thing I had ever seen in my life. I nodded, mute. He leaned in, mouth against my neck and whispered, "Perfectly. We fit perfectly." I looked at him, my future lay before me like a yellow brick road and he was my personal Oz. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't have the last word.

I warned him, "I don't put out on the first date."

 

Of course, I was lying through my teeth. I totally did.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics from D is for Dangerous - Arctic Monkeys


End file.
